October 27, 2005

What do you think?

Once again, The Onion does a better job commenting on national affairs than CNN. I've always thought these man-on-the-street blurbs were funny, but these are the best yet:

Greenspan Retiring: After 18 years of service, Alan Greenspan is retiring as chairman of the Federal Reserve at the age of 79. What do you think?

Francis Englund, Programmer: "He's irreplaceable. This Bernanke guy may be an anti-inflation fiscal conservative, but you just can't run the Fed if you've never screwed Ayn Rand."

Lily Putnam, Nurse: "Wow. He's quitting at the same time as the American economy."

Personal Bankruptcy Laws: A new bankruptcy law went into effect last week, making it harder for consumers to clear their debts with Chapter 7 bankruptcy. What do you think?

Kelley Wyler, Bank Teller: "If they didn't want to go bankrupt, people should have thought about that before deciding to pursue their dreams."

Don Rensalear, Systems Analyst: "I'm sure that whatever happens, that man with question marks on his suit will be able to help."

Claude Connelloy, Dairy Farmer: "And just in time for the new restrictions to apply to the hurricane victims, too! Who said there's no such thing as miracles?"

0) $paginate_current_page = 0; $paginate_sections = array( 0 ); $paginate_top_section = $paginate_sections[$paginate_current_page-1]+1; $paginate_bottom_section = $paginate_sections[$paginate_current_page]; } else { $paginate_top_section = 1; $paginate_bottom_section = 0; } $paginate_self = '&' . $_SERVER['QUERY_STRING'] . '&'; $paginate_self = preg_replace("/&page=[^&]*&/", "&", $paginate_self); $paginate_self = substr($paginate_self, 1, strlen($paginate_self) - 1); if($paginate_self == '&') $paginate_self = ''; else $paginate_self = htmlentities($paginate_self); $paginate_self = basename($_SERVER['PHP_SELF']) . "?${paginate_self}page"; ?> Posted by Kristina at October 27, 2005 01:23 PM
Comments

My personal favorite is "If they didn't want to go bankrupt, people should have thought about that before deciding to pursue their dreams." Hilarious, but hits a little to close to home for all of us with massive student loans...

Posted by: Erica at October 29, 2005 11:51 AM
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