May 18, 2004

I'm a Bitch

If I've learned anything with my recent run-in's with totally anonymous strangers on Kati's, Cody's, Aaron's and my blogs, it's that I'm a total bitch when it comes to totally anonymous strangers. I've had evidence of this for a while, namely that I will randomly and effortlessly lie to people that try to talk to me on the street or in bars and that I harass and call strangers names when drunk. I normally don't consider myself to be a purely reactionary, or even mean person, but there's something about consequence and repetition-free interactions that really bring out the big bitch in me. I know she's always secretly there judging (usually judging me more than anyone else) and making her smart-ass comments, but something about alcohol and the internet brings her out and then all hell breaks loose. I'm surprised that I haven't gotten into any fights at bars the way that I seem to breed flame wars in the CH universe, but I guess that's b/c I can't actually be as big a bitch in real life as I can here. Luckily, the bite of my newly awakened paranoia that I'm a bitch (adding to my endless collection of other fears) is greatly lessened by the fact that I'm sure that none of my recent totally anonymous victims were actually hurt by anything I said, despite my best efforts. I bet they're still unaffected in their opinions about whatever we were debating and themselves, and that they just feel sorry for me. That's OK by me, I've always been a pity-whore.

Don't mess with me!

0) $paginate_current_page = 0; $paginate_sections = array( 0 ); $paginate_top_section = $paginate_sections[$paginate_current_page-1]+1; $paginate_bottom_section = $paginate_sections[$paginate_current_page]; } else { $paginate_top_section = 1; $paginate_bottom_section = 0; } $paginate_self = '&' . $_SERVER['QUERY_STRING'] . '&'; $paginate_self = preg_replace("/&page=[^&]*&/", "&", $paginate_self); $paginate_self = substr($paginate_self, 1, strlen($paginate_self) - 1); if($paginate_self == '&') $paginate_self = ''; else $paginate_self = htmlentities($paginate_self); $paginate_self = basename($_SERVER['PHP_SELF']) . "?${paginate_self}page"; ?> Posted by Kristina at May 18, 2004 10:14 AM

Yes I am stalking your site today--very little work right now.

Anyways, don't you apologize for being a bitch about your opinions. You're totally entitled to believe whatever the fuck you want for whatever reason you want without justifying it to anyone. Next time you're confronted by a Geoffite or one of his nasty little cronies I suggest this approach (as opposed to a number of verbose and less effective exchanges): 'Fuck you. I am right. You can go and suck it.'

In the end I find this is much more satisfying and requires far less energy; you know you're right so why does the reason matter? Especially on your own damn web site.

Support your own freedom of speech. Be bitchier.

Posted by: Renee at May 18, 2004 01:14 PM

In the words of Kate Winslet's character, Bitsy, in "The Life of David Gale"

"Hate's no fun if you keep it to yourself."

Posted by: Clint at May 19, 2004 04:33 PM

and her character in eternal sunshine (not a spoiler): "I can be a vindictive little bitch, truth be told." embrace your inner kate, kristina.

Posted by: didofoot at May 20, 2004 12:35 PM

You know, I was watching Law & Order last night and something occurred to me: in order to be an effective lawyer, it's almost essential that you have rigid opinions (in other words, be a bitch). Being continually open to different interpretations of an event would rob you of the kind of conviction necessary to change the minds of a judge and jury. It might work for an artist to be all 'hey, go, live, be how you want, everything is subjective...' but as an aspiring lawyer it makes much more sense that you revel in the fact that your opinion is the right one. Brow-beating people onto your side is excellent practice for a future in the courtroom.

So next time you feel like you're getting shit for having trying to make people fall in line with your opinion, just be like "Hey, I'm gonna be a lawyer--I HAVE to be a bitch."

Posted by: Renee at May 27, 2004 07:17 AM

I said this somewhere earlier, but I love Renee; a voice of reason in this mad, mad world.

Posted by: Kristina at May 27, 2004 08:00 AM