July 26, 2003

An Evening at Badlands

Last night, I rushed out of my office at 4:45, after a hellish workday (I'll spare you the details), and set out for SF Badlands in the Castro. I somehow managed to get there in just under 30 minutes, arriving just minutes before Cody and Jay. When I first got there, all eyes instinctively moved toward the door to see the new arrival. Some immediately looked away and went back to their convos and drinks, since I obviously lack the appropriate... equipment to warrant further attention. Others continued to eye me as if to say "Why ever are you here, honey," as I performed the classic search-for-my-friends-look-at-my-watch routine out of some instinctual need to justify my solo, female presence in one of the Castro's most popular gay clubs. After a couple minutes, I decided that was a totally retarded attitude and attempted to work my way up to the bartender to order a good, strong drink. It wasn't going well, perhaps because I'm so damned small or because the cutie bartenders (I must say, the best looking men in the room were definitely all behind the bar) were engrossed in convo with other customers, but luckily Jay and Cody arrived, and Jay seemed to have no trouble getting up to the bar and ordering our drinks. Now, this is one of the few times in life where I am not at all offended by any kind of discrimination against women... perhaps I have issues about being the only woman in an all-gay setting, but I am kind of out of place and irrelevant to most of the socializing going on there.


Anyhow, I felt totally at ease once Jay and Cody arrived, and was amazed to see the bartender pouring six drinks for Jay, each filled at least 3/4 of the way with alcohol. I finally understood the draw of "happy hour", as Jay and Cody always refer to it, as if it's the only happy hour in the city, when Cody told me that drinks were 2 for 1. Shit, with that much alcohol in each, it's more like 4 for 1... especially for my 85 lb. ass. We took our drinks (I had two tequila sunrises, for those of you who care) and sat down in a place with a pretty good view of the room. My drinks were good, strong but not strong-tasting, that is, until I looked down and noticed a little fruit fly in my first drink. Although I had only had a little under half of it, I refused to drink it anymore. I hate bugs. By the end of my 2nd drink, I could definitely feel a buzz coming on, and all the pressures of my day and my little life seemed to finally (thank God) fade away. So what if I'm an alcoholic...



After that, things got kinda hazy. The music and videos were very entertaining, a lot of Cody and Jay's friends arrived over the course of the next couple hours. Some I had met before, some were new, but they were all super friendly and interesting (in the good way). I'm really bad with names, especially when "altered", so I think I got most of their names, although some escape me at the moment. When Jay got us another round of drinks I, of course, stuck to my tequila sunrises... mixing is always a very bad thing for me, cutting down my party stamina to a pathetic level... not to mention the guaranteed sickness the next day. Going to the bathroom was interesting because there's a glass window on the bathroom door, so you can totally see the guy standing at the urinal from outside the door. Luckily, there was a stall so I was able to conduct my business in relative privacy, but I had to wash my hands right next to a guy at the urinal - turning my back to him slightly so he could be sure I wasn't checking him out... although I was sooooo tempted.


Around 8ish, I think, we headed to get dinner. Going outside into the light and being forced to walk up hill and over curbs in heels made me realize just how tipsy I was. Luckily, Jay was there to lend me support or I would have bailed in the street for sure. At the pizza place (I think it was Woodfire), I had a Corona, although I didn't need it and I should have had some water (dumb bitch) and I think that I was too drunk to be hungry or concentrate on eating, so I think I only had a couple slices (dumb bitch). At some point during the dinner convo, Cody referred to me as a "fag hag". I hadn't heard any of the lead-in to that statement, but it was enough to put me into a temporary, exaggerated huff. I was genuinely taken aback at first - not in all our years of being friends has anyone, let alone Cody, called me that to my face - and for a moment I thought I would cry, but a good pull on my beer and a moment to collect myself fixed that. I think I said something to the effect of "I resent that because it implies that I'm in love with you [Cody], and I have such better taste than that." This naturally offended Jay, but I told him I was kidding (which I totally was, of course) and I think (hope) he believed me. Some of the other guys didn't agree with the title either, saying that it implied I was a fatty that couldn't get her own man and that I should be referred to as a "fruit fly". As I mentioned above, I had already had a run-in with a fruit fly earlier and I hate bugs, so I didn't really like that either. In fact, I hate labels altogether. Not only do I not like my long and meaningful friendship with Cody to be boiled down to a 2-word phrase, but I also don't like Cody being referred to as "fag" or "fruit" as much as I resent being called a "hag," even in jest. Perhaps it's a throw-back to a time in our lives when I was really defensive about people using those terms in a mean and threatening way; coming out in high school can be pretty tough.



Enough about dinner drama. We headed back to Badlands so we could get in before the 9:00 cover started. I can't remember if I had another drink... maybe because I didn't have one or maybe because I was already too drunk to remember everything after this point. Who cares. Shortly after we got back, Cody came up to me all excited to show me that Randall Coyne was in the house. What a shock! I hadn't seen that guy since...forever! He also went to the same HS that Cody and I went to and was in our class. Randall (no longer "Randy") looked good, all suave and shit in his pointy boots and has definitely "filled out" since HS. We all exchanged numbers and email addresses and stuff, but then I noticed that the dance floor had opened up and that Jay and some of the other guys were over there... and, you know me, I can never resist a dance floor. The music was great and I was having a wonderful time... totally drunk and free of all cares. I noticed again, as I had noticed pretty much all evening, that all the good looking guys I could see were in our group, and that the older guys were just sitting around the edges, watching the younger, good looking ones. How pervy.





After a while, we left, took more pictures and Cody, Jay and I made our way to Muni. Once again, I would not have made the walk there had it not been for Jay, but I did manage to nearly fall down the Muni steps the moment he let go of my hand. Pathetic. I was surprisingly functional and didn't even feel sick on Muni or Bart. I called Aaron from West Oakland to have him get me at MacArthur Bart. I've never been so glad to see someone when he was waiting for me right outside the gates. I really appreciate the help when I'm that tore up... there's no way I could have gotten myself home alone. When we got home, Aaron went out to the Smokehouse to get some good, greasy food, but, of course, I totally passed out and didn't wake up until 6am. By then the food was gross and cold and I was so thirsty I couldn't have eaten anyway.



So, that's my story. I had a great time and don't even feel that hungover today. Of course I'm really tired and feel all weak, so I'm not going to do jack-shit today, but that's OK. I deserve it.


For all those who were there, and were probably less drunk than me, (and, of course, anyone else who wants to) feel free to correct me and/or make comments.

0) $paginate_current_page = 0; $paginate_sections = array( 0 ); $paginate_top_section = $paginate_sections[$paginate_current_page-1]+1; $paginate_bottom_section = $paginate_sections[$paginate_current_page]; } else { $paginate_top_section = 1; $paginate_bottom_section = 0; } $paginate_self = '&' . $_SERVER['QUERY_STRING'] . '&'; $paginate_self = preg_replace("/&page=[^&]*&/", "&", $paginate_self); $paginate_self = substr($paginate_self, 1, strlen($paginate_self) - 1); if($paginate_self == '&') $paginate_self = ''; else $paginate_self = htmlentities($paginate_self); $paginate_self = basename($_SERVER['PHP_SELF']) . "?${paginate_self}page"; ?> Posted by Kristina at July 26, 2003 11:41 AM

i, um, wasn't there, and have no right to make comments about the whole night, but i have a story about cody and "fruit" which i feel the need to share.

once cody, kristen, and i (in HS) were at kristen's house using the pool and cody and i went in to get strawberry popsicles from the freezer and cody said, "you know what i would be if you put me in the freezer?" me: "what?" cody: "a frozen fruit."

at the time this was fucking hilarious. i still have fond memories of it, as evidenced by my recollection of it today. thank you, i'll be here all week.

Posted by: michele at July 29, 2003 12:18 PM

hey, randy/all! I ran into him on the muni once. but we did not have as much fun together as you two apparently had.

cody, that was so non-pc. if we put you in the freezer, you would just be a chilly gay man.

Posted by: didofoot at July 31, 2003 10:16 AM